Am I a liar, insane or a prankster?

Most people won’t read this post any more than they do any of my other blog posts. I’m used to that. Those that do will fall into one or more of several categories including the following: those who think what I say consists of playfulness, not to be taken seriously; those who think I am lying for malicious motives without being able to pinpoint what they might be, or possibly imagining they do know what is going on; last but not least are those who have been lead to believe I suffer from a serious mental illness. I have a story to tell, many threads of which are already out there. I suspect when I tie all the pieces together, many more people will start reading this blog if only in the hope of working out why I am fabricating such a complex hoax. Some will feel it in their bones that a significant part of what I say is true and that it needs to be brought to a wider readership, if only to increase the numbers who will help them solve this puzzle. Some who have gone out of their way to shove a genie back in the box will run for cover, and may already have done that: Frances Curran perhaps? I will be accused by powerful people of lying or being insane. Nothing new in that. I’ve faced their smears for years. No one will dismiss what I am saying as simply humour intended to be taken as such. If I am unsuccessful, my blog will be shut down due to legal action and/or I will be locked up ‘for my own good’, that being code used by those who want to portray me as mentally ill, those who have an objective need to smear me as a Walter Mitty fantasist. I am going to address the latter situation in all seriousness because I have already been sectioned for 28 days under the Mental Health Act, and I am accusing those who did this of maliciousness and serious criminality. I want them to pay for what they did with their jobs. I will fight until there is an investigation into what they have done. For the ‘crime’ of exposing this criminality these individuals will try to have me locked up again, but that won’t stop me exposing them. Indeed, part of what I am saying here is an insurance policy: the sooner I expose what has been going on the harder it will be for them to lock me up again.

The story I want to tell is no fantasy. But it is complex, very much so. In trying to tell, it questions will form in the readers’ minds. I cannot be arsed googling to find out if I correctly placed the apostrophe in that phrase “readers’ minds”. That brings me to the first point: humour. For many years I have had no contact with the outside world. I exist pretty much 100% in cyberspace. I am blaming others for this, and when I explain what happened people will say I am describing an intolerable situation which, since I have tolerated it for years, must, ipso facto be a fantasy. The story I am going to tell reads like a horror story, but it isn’t fantasy. I have not tolerated it any more than I have had to. The problem is no one has helped me. I have acclimatised myself to the intolerable, and humour has helped me deal with this horror story.

Those last few sentences contained a bit of a detour that I will come back to. The point I was starting to deal with is humour: I joined twitter many years ago and realised that 140 characters doesn’t allow us to do very much. One thing I found it useful for was humour. It’s just possible to squeeze in a series of surreal one-liners, like the wisdom of American stand-up comedian Steven Wright. For years almost the only thing I used twitter for was writing dialogue for characters of surreal sitcoms. I still do that. This keeps me amused. When you have to endure what I have endured black humour is a godsend. I am writing dialogue for sitcom characters who are idiots or delusional. In other words I am placing into cyberspace vital ammunition for any bastard who wants to lock me up as seriously mentally ill. However, just as someone was illegitimately prosecuted for joking about blowing up an airport, my jokes do not deserve to have me tossed in a padded cell for a month with nothing to do. If that happens again I hope I can count on someone reading this blog to get me the fuck out of there before I become seriously suicidal.

Suicidal? Okay. That brings me to something else. One of the justifications for those who locked me up is their alleged concern that I was suicidal. This is the sickest of sick jokes. These people need to be investigated partly because every single one of those who locked me up for being suicidal have been aware that I have been trying to get treatment for the things that have made me suicidal for a very, very long time. One of the reasons for suicidal feelings is the absence of appropriate medication for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder which I have known I have since 1991, which is when I first became aware of the condition. I am going to deal with this in subsequent blogs but I don’t think I will say anything I haven’t covered many times before in cyberspace.

My untreated attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is one of the reasons I have been suicidal for a long time. Those who have known about this untreated condition have been directly responsible for making my situation a hell of a lot worse, made worse still by their labelling me mentally ill and locking me up for 29 days in Dykebar Hospital’s hellhole. My untreated attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and abuse by others pretending to help me have been one reason for suicidal tendencies, but there are other reasons. And those who locked me up felt safe that I wouldn’t expose them for their role in making my situation worse but they miscalculated. I have lost my anxieties about addressing things I have hidden for years. I used to hide behind a pseudonym: Derek Thomas, but I have emerged from that, bit by bit. Derek Thomas is Tom Delargy.

Tom Delargy was a victim of a smear campaign involving the police and others. This fact was covered up by a series of members of the executive of the Scottish Socialist Party: national secretary Allan Green, SSP co-chair Catriona Grant, Frances Curran’s assistant Barbara Scott, the SSP’s national convenor’s Case Worker as an MSP (Keith Baldasserra), policy coordinator Alan McCombes, and a police spy who goes by the name of Frances Curran. As I have said before many times, the toppling of Tommy Sheridan was precipitated by my trying to get Tommy Sheridan to investigate Frances Curran and that is when Baldasserra, McCombes and Curran worked with Rupert Murdoch’s hacks, including those who went on to work closely under David Cameron at Downing Street to smash the Scottish Socialist Party to smithereens. From being a country whose left was held up world-wide as a beacon of hope, Scotland is now badly placed where socialist representation and unity is concerned. And it is undercover-cops on the SSP executive who worked with Rupert Murdoch’s News International and David Cameron’s Tory Party who are responsible for this. Tommy Sheridan was collateral damage. And the jury were denied evidence that would have cleared him by exposing the nature of the conspiracy against him. I have no doubt that The Crown were a willing party to the framing of Tommy Sheridan specifically to protect at least one police spy on the SSP’s executive, someone who abused her powers as an MSP: Frances Curran, and I am far from convinced that she was the only police spy who did not tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I will say more about this and am more than happy to do so under oath. The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned.

I say this knowing that what I say will be treated with great caution, as it should be. I don’t want anyone to pass on anything I say without wondering how much if anything I say is true. I know I cannot prove everything. But let me be clear about this: I am not lying, I am not mentally ill and I am not trying to be humourous.

I have questions I need to address: how can I possibly know the things I claim to know?; why would I be so quiet about so much for so long? These are different questions and neither has a simple answer. I will try to give the bare bones of some answers to which I’ll add flesh in the days, weeks, and months to come.

Firstly, how do I know what I know? I need to explain about my diagnosed disabilities, what they do and what they most emphatically do not mean.  I also need to explain that I have tried to get people to help me, swearing them to secrecy. I have abandoned this now. In order to protect myself I need to get a lot more into the public arena than I thought wise previously. The reasons for trying to get things done secretly will be explained in detail. There are several reasons for this. All of those I am going to accuse of betraying me felt confident they’d get away with this because they felt I would never feel able to put into the public arena the smear started by cops under investigation for collusion with those who hospitalised me. Their lie was that I was a paedophile on the sex offenders register. Evidence of who was behind this lie was destroyed by the head of the investigation at Strathclyde Police Complaints and Discipline Branch and former head of Special Branch for five years: Assistant Chief Constable Jim Orr, who resigned from the police within 24 hours of his being caught at my lawyers office of destroying this evidence.

Lord McAlpine received a substantial pay-out from the BBC due to Newsnight’s mistakenly identifying him as a paedophile.  The BBC is aware that they allowed their Scottish Correspondant Glenn Campbell to help Alan McCombes smear me as mentally ill in order specifically to stop me getting an investigation into the role of Frances Curran in supporting the cops who spread these rumours, hospitalised me, lead to a delay of 12 hours in my receiving prompt medical attention, lead to the loss of hundreds of pounds in Criminal Injuries Compensation, lead to an eighteen months malicious prosecution based on lies spread by someone who was sent to jail for sending me a death threat, proof of whose illegal interception of my mail was destroyed by the head of the investigation into police collusion with this criminal, Jim Orr, former head of Special Branch. Those behind this have effectively lead to my being holed up in a hovel with no contact with the outside world since they forcibly moved me into a town where I know no one.

I am accusing Alan McCombes and Frances Curran of knowing what they were doing, the latter because she is an undercover cop, the former of destroying the SSP in order to protect Frances Curran’s identity as an undercover cop, with Keith Baldasserra acting as the go-between who got them to frame Tommy Sheridan in order to stop my getting the SSP’s national convenor to understand why he had to set up an investigation into Frances Curran for being a police spy. Frances Curran and Alan McCombes each (separately) had a conversation with me about another police spy back in the mid-1990s: his name is Chris Bambery. McCombes set up a meeting in a room in a pub in Paisley after I contacted Peter Taaffe; Curran after she took me aside at the Scottish Socialist Alliance’s second party conference. What I claim I know I have covered up for decades and have tried to get this investigated without going public. The story about Bambery I have touched on without going into too many details. Alan McCombes has all the details. He promised me he’d pass the documents on to Chris Harman via Peter Taaffe but I suspect he binned them before passing them on to Harman or Taaffe. Given what lengths he has gone to to protect Frances Curran’s identity I see a pattern. I can’t prove why he committed perjury, but I can prove that he is a perjurer, as is Frances Curran, Keith Baldasserra and very many other Scottish Socialist Party executive members.

Why did I not go on the record about Chris Bambery when I first suspected him? This is not something you do if you are on the left, unless you want to get a reputation of being paranoid or have all the evidence tied up in neat little piles rather than a set of circumstantial evidence that lend a degree of corroboration to each other but which may require further investigation, possibly an attempt to trap the spy into giving the game away. My evidence fell into the latter category. Furthermore we are talking about events that started in the 1980s and into the mid-1990s. This was prior to the internet. Getting information into the public arena was a hell of a lot more difficult for most of us. I had to go about things with considerable discretion. Alan McCombes can explain to you what I did, but probably won’t, given that this exposes his role in protecting Chris Bambery from investigation by SWP central committee members such as Socialist Worker editor Chris Harman, Lindsay German and John Rees who were all under the impression that I remained an SWP member years after national secretary Chris Bambery had me expelled along, apparently, with many others. Bambery was (according to someone else who shall remain nameless) working hand-in-glove with another SWP central committee member who may be entirely innocent. I won’t repeat her name since I have no idea as to her culpability in this and she is not around to defend her reputation, having died recently.

Bambery and his alleged co-conspirator negotiated the SWP’s entry into the SSP in a deal virtually guaranteed to have the venture collapse as it almost did within hours of the 9-11 events. Had Alan McCombes handed the evidence of Chris Bambery’s crimes to Chris Harman as he promised me he would, I don’t think Bambery would have been allowed anywhere near the SWP-SSP negotiations, nor have been allowed to retain his SWP membership for that matter, and he would be persona non gratta on the left today, which (unfortunately) is not yet the case. He would not have been able to use a subsequent job as Chris Harman’s replacement as Socialist Worker editor to say SWP members intended to join Tommy Sheridan to lie under oath, nor would he have been chosen by the BBC to represent Tommy Sheridan’s supporters to tell BBC Scotland listeners on Kay Adams wretched morning phone-in show to get all chummy with Rosie Kane suggesting her problem was refusing to commit perjury as his own SWP member, according to him, had done. What kind of arsehole behaves the way Chris Bambery behaves? A police spy, that’s who.

No one can seriously believe what I am saying about Bambery or Curran or any of the others is a joke. The options are either I am lying, which would require an explanation as to why I would lie about something like this. I’m certainly willing to listen to credible theories. I am sure I can expose them all as utter bullshit. Then there is the ‘mentally-ill’ theory. That is the easiest to use if you need to shut someone up. That is what Alan McCombes used Glenn Campbell for. McCombes decided he could get away with this because he thought I would not be able to tell the outside world what I knew about his covering up the Bambery evidence and I would not be willing to make the police allegation about my being a paedophile on the sex offenders register issue public. It has taken me years to summon the courage but I have it now.

As far back as 2004 I tried to get the BBC (via Reeval Alderson) to expose the cops in ‘K’ Division and some at the Strathclyde Police Complaints and Discipline Branch for spreading these malicious rumours via Assistant Chief Superintendent Jim Orr and others. Reeval Alderson told me that BBC rules meant I had to wait until I got my day in court and I had to simply put up with riots by 30 or so adults threatening to murder me before all my neighbours with two cops looking on and taking no action, then burying police reports about any of this happening, notwithstanding dozens of neighbours being witnesses to a virtual riot. Frances Curran knew I was going to expose Jim Orr and Regional Procurator Fiscal John Miller in court. So Frances Curran MSP pulled the plug to stop me doing that, attempting in the process to help John Miller have me arrested for breaching bail conditions. All this might read like a bizarre conspiracy but every word is true, and a great deal can be substantiated. Not everything but more than enough. Since that time I have had others pretending to help me get this addressed. Well they have all betrayed me. Now they can pay the price by my having the truth made public: I am happy to name names and let people sue me if they want. The sooner I get into court to expose all this the happier I will be.

I am not joking. I am not lying. Nor am I mentally ill. I have to explain about the nature of my disabilities though, because some who have been paid to help me with those have made my situation considerably worse. They have been doing this for years now. I asked for the behaviour of these individuals to be investigated and they took revenge by having me smeared as mentally ill, then sectioned under the mental health act. I want all these individuals investigated for what they did. They include a Dr Bennie who prescribed me a drug that could have killed me, Renfrewshire Council Social Workers who have allowed me to be deprived of human contact since moving me out of Paisley in 2005, and Scottish Autism support workers, including the woman who runs the organisation in Glasgow.

All of the above lie about the nature of my disabilities and I need to say something about what it is and is not, about my strengths and weaknesses. This is not easy. No one seems to get it, but I will do the best I can.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia shortly after turning 30. I needed to get my GP to sign a form to get a bursary to be tested. He told me I was wasting my time as if I was dyslexic it would have been caught before I turned 30, with an English higher, honours degree in politics, diploma in information technology and been accepted to become a teacher in economics and computer science, assuming I got past the teacher training year, which I couldn’t. I had to show my GP a letter from the head of the British Dyslexia Association confirming that on the basis of my letter to her she thought I was in fact dyslexic before my GP agreed to sign the form to let me get this bursary, telling me he was signing under protest as he thought it was a waste of tax payers’ money. I ‘passed’ the dyslexia test. By the time I was tested I had done some research at the local library and decided something called attention deficit disorder more accurately described my specific symptoms as taking in spoken information has always posed immeasurably greater problems for me than reading, at least since I learnt to read, albeit at a very slow rate. Unfortunately, when I raised this with the woman who tested me for dyslexia she’d never heard of ADD. And I have tried ever since to be tested for that condition and to get appropriate medication, which I was always convinced would come from the stimulant category of drug given how my condition has played itself out in the half century since I have had to live with it. A further two decades of my life was wasted as no one did anything to address what was clearly ADD/ADHD. Since finally getting a diagnosis of ADHD (after I reached 50) nothing has been done as far as medical intervention is concerned. I will be saying more about this. Those two decades were utterly wasted. I tried and tried and tried to get myself tested for ADD and all I got was tested for autism which no one told me I was being tested for until after they got me to the clinic. When they gave me that diagnosis I suggested this was a misdiagnosis. I remain unconvinced although I do recognise a considerable overlap in the symptoms between autism/aspergers and my version of ADHD. I need to take the reader on a journey. I need to explain how people’s attitude to me has changed over the years and what bearing this has on my trustworthiness.

As a young boy I was deemed beyond hope. No one knew how to teach me to read or do anything else and they gave up even trying. I kind of knew I could not be quite as stupid as the teachers seemed to think but I knew there was something strange and I couldn’t get across what others couldn’t see for themselves. I gave up. I withdrew. I loved drawing and I loved the perspective, anatomy and other visual material in American superhero comics. My taste was drawn to those superheroes who pretended to be isolated dorks while actually having to hide a secret. I did that. I let people think I was an idiot while I knew it must be more complicated than that. At any rate that’s what I hoped.

Very, very slowly I taught myself to read, if only to read very, very, very slowly. I read the same stories over and over. I learnt something. I learnt lots of things. Some of what passed as science fiction in superhero comics contained elements of truth, and I learnt (much like the nerds in the Big Bang Theory) that science could be fun. I learnt that by a lot of hard work, repetition and pattern recognition I could build up a store of general knowledge. While my auditory short term memory was a complete shambles, I taught myself to develop my long term memory like a muscle, and that helped me establish hooks upon which to grab more and more pieces of general knowledge. From someone who was beyond hope I could actually become a relatively decent scholar, at least some of the time, so long as I actually put in some work. Those are some very important provisos:  I have often gotten sloppy, assuming facts would fall from the sky and that I no longer had to undertake the necessary research. I have paid the price for that. But I am not making things up about what I am talking about here. This is important stuff and I would not lie about this. My auditory short term memory problems are serious. I am not pretending otherwise. But they have nothing to do with mental illness any more than my extreme short-sightedness is related to mental illness. So long as I can write things down when I need to there is no problem. When I have adrenaline pumping through my veins, again, I don’t suffer from this auditory short term memory problem. Ritalin or some substitute stimulant drug would, I am convinced, have fixed my problems, or most of them. Even without proper medication I have been able to function in a way that has stopped my disability being recognised as such.

When I was young, I was dismissed by most of my peers as well as everyone else as a congenital idiot. From being moved to secondary school the reverse seemed to be the case as far as some people were concerned; I was actually a bit of a prodigy, comparatively speaking. So long as I actually work hard and am not inundated with the type of information I cannot process without having written access to it (numbers, proper nouns, pronouns, lists of anything, including adjectives, adverbs, subordinate clauses), I can survive. Unfortunately a combination of laziness and others indifference to my genuine needs, as opposed to what they pretend are my needs, I often have a pretty bad time.

Renfrewshire Council, Scottish Autism and Dr Bennie are among those who have reduced my life to a nightmare for the last few years. In addition to everything else I’ve addressed here, I have been reduced to being a shut-in since 2005 and I have not even begun to address the reason for that in this blog post. Ever since Scottish Autism got involved (2006), I have had zero contact with the outside world apart from the two days I got support from them. There have been exceptions to this rule but they have been few and far between. I have developed agoraphobia as a consequence of all this. Renfrewshire Council don’t want me to tell the world about how they have reduced me to a shut-in since 2005. That won’t stop me. They tried to shut me up by having me locked up by Dr Bennie after I complained about what they had done and what Dr Bennie had done: prescribed a drug that he ought to have known could have killed me. Thus far I have been unable to get anyone to investigate Renfrewshire Council, Scottish Autism or Dr Bennie. I don’t know how to get any of them investigated. While I am waiting for information from someone on how I go about doing this, I will make my case against each and every one of them on this blog.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s