And nothing but the truth? [Part I]

I swear by almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

My name is Tom Delargy, and I reside at 50c St Ninians Road Paisley as I have for approximately eight years. I am currently unemployed….

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand before you today not as the accused but as the accuser…. Let me rephrase that… I stand before you as both. You have heard others refer to me as ‘the accused’. Fine.

I am not here of my own free will: that much is true. I have been summoned to appear here today, as have all of you. But I believe that in this case, as in so many others, offense is the best form of defense. My saying this will come as no surprise to the prosecution given that I have set out my defense as resting on an attempt to demonstrate that I am the victim of a malicious prosecution, with Regional Procurator Fiscal John Miller standing atop this rotten edifice.

As you can see, I will be representing myself. I am going to explain why I have been forced to appear before you without legal representation, proving that this is entirely against my will and that this fact will feature in any appeal should I fail to convince you, ladies and gentlemen that I am innocent.

I will further be explaining that not one of my key witnesses have been called by the Crown to help me demonstrate my innocence. I will challenge the legitimacy of the Crown denying me the right to cross examine these witnesses given that the Procurator Fiscal and Sheriff Dunlop have had more than enough warning as to who these witnesses are and why I need them to prove my innocence.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I hold in my hand a copy of a letter sent to the Procurator Fiscal’s office, a letter that explained that I would be pointing the finger of guilt at the two arresting officers whose testimony I am going to expose as acts of perjury. I am going to prove (and you will find this is an open and shut case) that both of the alleged victims of my so-called crime have committed several acts of perjury today, and I am further going to attempt to prove to you that these acts of perjury were coaxed by a series of corrupt police officers.

This letter that I hold in my hand (which shall henceforth be referred to as Exhibit A) was penned in response to my being sent a letter from the Procurator Fiscal’s office explaining that a sheriff had granted an arrest warrant for my non-attendance at a previous court appearance, one that the Procurator Fiscal fully accepts he was aware I knew absolutely nothing about. Kafkaesque or what?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I will be providing you all with dozens of pieces of evidence including correspondence with more than one Procurator Fiscal, Sheriff Dunlop, a variety of lawyers, and letters to politicians that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not providing you today with some last minute defense concocted out of desperation. Absolutely not. What you are hearing today is how I have defended myself from a malicious prosecution from day one of the crime that never was: on 16th of March 2003, eighteen months ago.
[To be continued]

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