Douglas Alexander and me. His sister. My sister. And the British State. Part 1

DOUGLAS ALEXANDER BIG BANNER

Douglas Alexander is my MP. He has just ran a nasty campaign in Scotland, and his boss is very proud of what he’s done. One of the many things Dougie did was bore the audience of debates to tears with his endless name-dropping of members of his family, which did not go down well with Comrade Alexander. Dougie attacked the audience for groaning at his incessant reference to his sister, his mother, his dad, his wife, his dogs, cats, goldfish or whatever the hell they were. I got bored and stopped listening.

Anyway, since Douglas Alexander did refer to his sister, I thought I would use this to help me in structuring my tale about what an utterly appalling Member of Parliament he is, and why he should be driven from office at the earliest opportunity. I am now going to tie us together in a way that makes reference to both of our sisters. I am doing this with a great deal of apprehension, and I need to make this point right at the start.

Of the four of us, only two can be described as famous, although my sister has not heard of any of the famous peeps: Wendy Alexander is as anonymous to my sis as is Dougie himself. This gives an indication of how my sister is an innocent bystander in this. I don’t want her to become collateral damage in a war of David Cameron and Douglas Alexander’s rich and powerful chums dragging my name through the mud.

My sister has nothing to do with politics. She is a private citizen and, as such, should not be hounded by the press. That, unfortunately, is what I am worried about. David Cameron and Douglas Alexander are bound to try to get to me by hounding relatives who have got nothing to do with this. Let me state for the record that as far as I know, my sister may vote Tory. I neither know, nor care. One of the first things I said to her when we met for the first time in decades recently is that I was not going to ask her how she intended to vote in Scotland’s referendum. To this she replied she wouldn’t tell me anyway. I am not going to dwell on that, not going to draw any inference. All I will say is that my sister should be off-limits as far as the media is concerned.

While I won’t be mentioning my sister’s name, I will be referring to her a great deal, and it will be in reference to Douglas Alexander, his sister and the British State, and to illegality that links him to David Cameron and, it would seem, judging by her speech to yesterday’s Conservative Party conference, to Home Secretary Theresa May.

[End of Part I]

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