Dear Mrs Pringle,
I got a quantum eraser for Christmas. I don’t write stories with it .I use it to rub out everything that I want to eliminate from the eleven dimensions of the multiverse that I don’t want to be part of my story. As you can imagine, this is extremely arduous work, and every story takes longer than the age of our universe. And that’s why my homework is late. Also, when I finished it the dog ate it, so I’ve got nothing to hand in at all. Please don’t give me another fucking F.